Paying dues...

Sure I am. What do you expect when you start at the bottom?

But I've moved up two levels, in a very short period of time. That's not to say I don't make mistakes, and incur the wrath of Chef. I deserve it. He depends on me to have my shit together.

And usually, I do.

But lately, the tired is creeping into my performance. My attitude has been short with servers I should be gentler with...they seem to be disadvantaged.

I know not to let personal issues into my station...but the "single" issue has been weighing on me.

It's only been ten years since my divorce, I should be used to being single. And I am for the most part, but sometimes, it would be nice to come home late, and have "her" (the mythic her, no one in particular) here.

Or know she was thinking of me, in my corner.

Oh well...it is what it is...time to shake it off and stay focused. Maybe I'm just one of those guys...too sweet for his own good, and too much of an asshole for anyone else's.

The turning 50 next week deal is on my mind too.

Lucky no one killed me yet...